I did it…I did it!

I did not go to lunch with brother and I did not order pizza.  I sent an email to a loving person admitting I am addicted to food and am scared I will die from my addiction.

Then something happened.  I felt ok to not order pizza and not be around the toxic food.  It is worthy to note I did have some turkey and bread at the office—it was just old and I was telling myself it would not be good anymore.  But it was good enough.

I am still volatile… meaning, I got back to my desk to get on a conference call and instantly wanted some food to put in my mouth.  I am not hungry, I do not feel like food needs to be in my body but what food represents—that is what I feel I need.