It is so hard to not eat, I would rather just go to sleep. Just to not feel. I never knew how it feels to feel. And really, I am not liking it.
But I am powerless over food--my life has become unmanageable.
My mom will be in town tomorrow. She wants to do lunch. I am scared to tell her I can't do I lunch so I lie. I tell her lunch would be fine but I try to discourage it by telling her it would have to be a quick lunch.
I have been abstinent since Tuesday...and the weekend is on it's way. I have never thought I would be so scared for a weekend. That is a lot of freedom and I do not do well with freedom.
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